Disclaimer: You will not learn anything from reading this. Entertainment? Not sure I can even promise that. The grammar is off, it started out as an Instagram post about not being able to work from home. Instagram said rudely that the post was too long. I lack the consistency to post often to Instagram, not because I don’t have content, but I question will it fit into an arbitrary aesthetically pleasing to look at niche. So, no one really gets to see my stuff, because the algorithm likes consistency and I have too many (mind tabs) wildly different niches to pick one. I decided Medium it is, I’m paying them monthly, maybe someone would read this or maybe not. What this is, is stream of consciousness writing, do we still do that? Well, if we do or don’t, I kind of did it. It is not at all fluid. Did I stick to one tense, past or present? Nope. I’m all over the place? Yeah. A nod to honesty, it’s a sh!t show! A glimpse of what some call the madness of what might be ADHD brain or non-neurotypical thinking. To the people not like myself who don’t revel in this way of thinking, I kind of apologize, to the others, are you, my people? Yeah, you are my people.
No need to frown on this rainy day I told myself. I pressed snooze too many times. I have no business drinking sweet tea at 11pm last night. I was up till 3 am. Scrolling TikTok for hits of dopamine.
What to wear? I have a kind of uniform, just where black. I took out the black cashmere sweater and since I usually throw caution to the wind, I washed it and forgot to take it out before I put all the clothes to dry, it’s a bit smaller and I don’t want to fight my clothes this morning and its spring. Doesn’t feel like it because I’m still running the heater. I should where some color, pink? The pink sweater, yeah that’s the one, but it needs to iron. I would wear it all wrinkled and just I was about to pull it over my head, the hubby said “NO, don’t do it, leave it there I will iron it”. If it wasn’t for him, I would be a wrinkled mess.
Couldn’t find the brush, you know the special brush to brush out the knots in the ponytail because no other brush will do. Changed the shoes because the gap in between top of the boot and bottom of pant was just too wide and my cute argyle socks, well I was looking like a clown.
Asked google home, what the high was today. 64. Then what does it feels like? 46, because of the wind “chill”. And the drastic difference makes anyone question which coat to wear. I’m always cold. Funny, in the summer, google never gives you the wind “heat” I guess that would be the humidity? I went with the wool coat. Eff it, it’s pink and it is cute.
Eff it, it’s pink and it is cute.
Forgot to use the setting spray for my makeup, so this picture (over on the gram, you can go check it out and follow me if you wish, please thank you, I have dreams of being an influencer) I took before I affixed the mask to my face is the one I like, it is the one I subscribed to, however I’m just going to look weird when I take off my mask at my desk and makeup is missing in spots.
The janitor is using the one elevator in the building that is working to do garbage removal. Really now! Like he doesn’t have all day to do the garbage, most of us people are back at work anyway. Checked the transit app, 1st bus 10 mins away, other bus 20 mins away, the joys of living in a two-fare zone. Okay maybe get a cab. Uber, yeah, it’s Uber time. Do I take the Uber to the further train station, that gets me on an express train initially, or the closer train station that starts with a local train, I still have to transfer to another train either way? Checks the @uber app, the price is a bit higher than I want for the further train station. I get it, it’s raining, and everyone wants a cab. Choices to make, charge my hubby’s card or charge mine? Oh, he loves me, yeah he loves me… I know we had a talk about budget but why not throw caution to the wind, accept the charges, and let my face grant me access. Oh, the power of face recognition, thanks Apple. 6 minutes for a cab to the further train station, uh opens Uber app changes to closer train station. Whoever raised their hand and was brave enough to suggest that us people need room for changing our minds and being able to change our destination is a genius, they should get a raise.
Cab comes, and well he could have at least taken me closer but that’s my fault or is it, why fight I need the extra steps. I say thank you and fumble to open my umbrella.
I changed shoes, I should have put on my rain boats, but what woman ever wants to commit to rain boats all day in the office. Although the boots are cute, I am never willing to take another bag with shoes, or should I have?
Just as I stepped into a puddle. Great, now there is water in my shoes. I must keep the flats on. All mental capabilities are focused on keeping the shoes on, that I’m walking like Viola Davis in heels in ‘how to get away with murder’. I ascend the stairs to my waiting silver chariot, there is one in the station, yes! No…I say to myself, as I try to catch my breath behind my mask, my lungs are on fire. Come on, open the door. I find it weird because the train did the hiss. I’m not sure if all New Yorkers are aware of the ‘hiss’ right before the train pulls out of the station or is it just one of the things I notice because of my hyper misaligned focus to the details. Train pulls out of the station with no passengers. Ok, that’s ok because here comes another train. Nope, that one collected his $200 and is not stopping, it is going to the train yard, NO PASSENGERS!
I look at the time, ha! Only if time travel existed or beam me up Scotty technology existed, with my lack of proper executive functioning skills. I would pay top dollar to beam myself to work and from work.
Sent the email, because it is only respectful to alert your employer that you will be late. I think of times past when I was on time for work every day because of #workfromhome. Finally, 5 long minutes later I get on a train, and we a moving slower than it took for glaciers to form.
I pass by a building and in one of the windows I can see the backs off all this child’s dolls and teddy bears that are sitting in the window, do none of them want to see out the window instead? No, that child is a genius, she is already preparing to be an influencer, she will be accustomed to eyes on her all the time, not like me, I rather my toys not look at me. Wait, it may be a boy or a gender-neutral child, stupid, stupid lady. Back to the glaciers, by the way climate change is making them melt alarmingly fast and it is because of us and me included , all those emails I receive because I just most always sign up for a newsletter, chuck that down to curiosity and a fascination with, at times useless information. Like, in a year, a person like me living in a developed county like this will add 136kg of CO2 to my carbon footprint from the emails I send and receive.
Finally, we descend into the darkness, it’s not really dark, there are lights, but would I go down here by myself, no. I rather do it with over 100 people. No proper Wi-Fi in Under World, do I stay on this chariot or take the one that would get me to work 2 minutes faster, claiming to be an express, as if that matters to the time clock, you know KRONOS. They never said how they fixed it, did they pay the ransom, was there a ransom? In my head there was a ransom, and it was huge. Clearly, I’m messing with the gods or are they are messing with me. I must have done something to offend them last night, they usually don’t favor the likes of demigods and now I’m in my own Odyssey.
I look out, no express train and the sign is not saying when it’s coming, stay, go, stay, go. I stand and with a rush I see the train pulling in. I leap from local train to the platform. The lady with the key opens the one door, we all stand there waiting for an invitation to go forth and take a seat, one never comes. I want a seat. The mail carrier decides to enter, I follow. They should be required to carry stamps on them. How would that even work? Would it only be two stamps per person and why am I even thinking of this I can’t remember the last time I used a stamp.
The train stays in the station a bit longer, come on express already. Like who uses ‘express’ as a verb? It finally expresses and well my email said I would be there by 10, I’ll be there by 10:15. I made it by 10:09. At least I can make the 10 am meeting in progress, that I’m supposed to be taking notes for but looks like there was a companywide update, so my computer is off. Started the computer and waited for everything to load, it is 10:25. I log into Teams, and the meeting has ended. I tried!
Anyway, smile I tell myself because it will only get better, and half the battle has already been won. I showed up.
